What do you think of this papper my friend wrote about twilgiht ( she hates it) and this is very funny!?

Rant on twilgiht- by my bestie freind!!1

Reading about the paranormal always fascinated me. So, I was very excited when I heard a novel based vampire movie was coming to theaters, what I didn’t realize was how horrible it would be. What do you get when you put a pubescent vampire and an expressionless zombie together? Why, Edward and Bella of course!! Seriously, they have got to be the most exhaustingly boring couple in the world. In just the first 20 minutes of the movie, I was so annoyed the characters, that I started getting hysterical, I feel sorry for the poor soul who sat next to me, I mean, I pretty much made sarcastic comments and vomiting motions the entire movie.



I guess I can see the appeal in watching 2 hours of pretty-boy-vampire/superman/fairy prancing around wearing Revlon foundation. I guess it is a sort of “sweet” that he stalks her to her house and watches her as she sleeps. It can be kind of entertaining watching Edwards stutter as his pathetic attempt to deny that he is a vampire fails. Oh and how can we forget Jessica? The backstabbing friend we all love to roll our eyes at, her and Bella’s dad were one of the few characters in this movie who didn’t make me want to cough up blood.



What sparkles more than fireworks on the 4th of July? Whose expressions are harder to read than a game of Charades? Who is ridiculously pale and wears L’Oreal lipstick? Not Tinker Bell, if that’s what you’re thinking. It's the one and only, Edward Cullen!!! (Yes folks, sarcasm intended). This guy is supposed to be the man of every teenage girl (and maybe some guys) dream. But no, he is so disgustingly cheesy that it makes me want to rip off my arm, just so I have something to throw at him. I mean, on the first date, he tells the hopelessly naive Bella, that she is his heroin; couldn’t he think of a better compliment? Like, ';your hair looks good today'; or ';your eyes are pretty';, or maybe even, ';that shirt doesn’t make you look fat';. Edward Cullen, he’s impossibly fast, strong and can read minds, but what kind of a homicidal, blood sucking, creature of the night, sparkles??? When his skin makes contact with the sun, instead of burning or spontaneously exploding, the man sparkles!!



Now on to everybody’s favorite wimp, Bella. She moves in with her estranged father and goes to a school where everybody apparently knows of her arrival. Even when she is welcomed with fake smiles and random crushes, she chooses to be distant and fall for the one guy, who doesn’t want to kiss her pale, non-existent butt. We’re talking about a na?ve 17 year old, who thinks she has found her “true love” or “soul mate”, in a guy who is only attracted to her because he can’t read her mind. Don’t you just want to slap her awake from her delusional fantasy?



As much as this movie made me want to stick a fork in my eyes, I recommended it for anyone who can stand over 100 minutes of crappy teenage romance, with a plot that could be written by a deluded 7 year old. And also, for teenage girls who like Robert Pattinson and watching Taylor Lautner parade around shirtless, because that’s what you’re going to get in the sequel “New Moon”. Well, that and a lot of Kristen Stewarts mopping around in the same outfit.

1 second ago - Edit - DeleteWhat do you think of this papper my friend wrote about twilgiht ( she hates it) and this is very funny!?
Well done! Sounds like a gal who knows what she likes. Apparently, pale wussy homo like faux vampire shemales are not her cup of tea.What do you think of this papper my friend wrote about twilgiht ( she hates it) and this is very funny!?
your ';friend'; has too much time on her hands
XD I love it, your friend is quite the artist and knows what she's talking about. I could agree with all the points and not only did I find this piece of (almost Godly) common sense completely accurate and quite factual, but I couldn't help but snicker. Five stars to you for befriending such awesomeness, and five stars to your friend for being so genius!



Happy Ranting! ;D